Imperfection in its perfect self

2011-04-30T03:50:00.001+08:00

I prayed and asked god to take me before he leaves or to give me a reason to live.

2011-04-25T12:33:00.003+08:00

I still find it hard to say it out loud. It's as if by saying it out verbally gives it substance and matter making it real. I don't like saying it, I avoid saying out. Fear it being more true then it already is. Maybe I'm still trying to be delusional and denying it. Ur gone. I know it but I just don't like confirming it with my own words and reminding myself.
________

Your mum keeps calling about your money and wanting it. Then she calls about your stuff, things they gave to you apparently. I know its not in the house coz u never mentioned it nor that i even saw it. you dont even like wearing watches. Then she mentiones she needs shoes. Mostly she wants attention, attention you used to give her. She wants me to fill that emptiness. I cant coz i feel that emptiness too. That aside there is the things she says about me, its hurtful. How can you expect me to love you when u do and say things to hurt me consistently, im not like u dear. u love her as a mother, i loved her as your mother coz i love you.

i give up. i feel so sick with stress and depression i feel like throwing up. I just dont know who to tell anymore. I've said so much before to people who care but in the end they tell me to buck up n swallow it. i know i should but its really pushing me to edge of my breaking point. I have the urge to end it all. im beginning to feel i dont have ayone else to turn to. Im feeling very desperate. Sometimes wish it was me instead. These days the thought seems more desperate. I try to find things to make me happy, i try to make life seem worth living, I'm trying to tell myself what you would have told me. Im getting desperate hanging on to what sanity i have left. Looking for a balance, looking for reason, looking for my sanity to center me again. You were thouse things and you're gone.

I've lived, I've loved, I've lost.

2011-04-06T01:35:00.002+08:00

Its been nearly 2 years since i last posted on my Hope Journal blog. So much has happened but now more then ever i feel the need to put it into words. We made it through the whole set of treatments by the end of 2009. He only needed to go back for monthly check ups and we planned for the future. We decided to save up for our initial postponed honeymoon and for future medical savings as he wasn't covered by insurance anymore and we estimated 3-5 years before it came back again. I got a job in Singapore and he worked at his family's electrical shops. We planned to go Taiwan this year or next year for our honeymoon.

He saved enough for my LASIK and i was due to get it done just before Chinese New Year so i could rest back home in KL. Few days before the procedure he called after a check up to tell me that the doctor fears a relapse. I took it quite badly and broke down in the office. I managed to pull it together and hoped for the best while waiting for the results the next day. As feared, he had a relapse of ALL. I bought the next ticket home and canceled my LASIK. i just wanted to be by his side. Family had informed he he was taking it very badly and was depressed. He didn't want to do the treatments, not again, not anymore. We went to see a counselor and it did help a little. I was in a dilemma, to quit my job and go back to KL or to continue working in SG. In the end I stayed in SG. He started treatment soon after. It was harsh, worse then the first treatments. He fell sick by the first cycle itself and stayed several weeks till he recovered.

I went home more often and we planned for his birthday, 20th April, and mine 29th May. I bought plane tickets home for both weekends as i didn't want him traveling down as he initially wanted. I took a late bus home after work on the 18th March and arrive in the wee hours of the morning and he picked me up. we spent Saturday laming at home watching silly movies and had dinner with my family back in rawang. While driving home after dinner he mentioned that it would be fun to just go up Genting right then but it was late and we had plans the next day so we decided to do it another time. The next morning we had planned to go Mid Valley as i needed to get some tops from FOS and we wanted to eat at Sushi Zanmai. It was a nice meal but he didn't eat as much as he usually did probably since i said i would foot the bill. He was always like that, worrying about me in every way.

He mentioned he felt cold in FOS but i felt it too so we thought it was just the air cond. He dropped me off at the bus station in the evening and said he would have dinner with his parents that night. We smsed while i was on the bus and I called him later on while he was having dinner with his parents. As usual i was to tell him once i got home which i did but he didn't reply so i assumed he was already asleep. He was due for a doctors check up the next morning. At 11:30am the next morning he smsed me that he was sick and needed to be warded. We didn't say much, this i would regret to no ends later on. I smsed him and called several times in the afternoon but there was no reply. In the evening my mum called and said his condition was bad and she was very distressed. I spoke with my dad right after as he would have a better assessment of the situation. I decided to fly back immediately and told my boss it was an emergency.

I cried from the office to my rented room, from there to the airport and throughout the flight. Bro and sis picked me from the airport and we literally flew to the hospital. When i reached and saw him unconscious with tubes all over and a nurse manually pumping air into his lungs it was just so depressing. I kept calling out to him and telling him i loved him. He could hear me, i saw tears fall. He awoke once for about 2 seconds, focused at me and held up his hand to brush across my cheek. That the was the last and only time he was truly conscious. I still remember the look in his eyes as he saw me crying and telling him how much i loved him.

i stayed by his side through the night but he didn't wake. his BP was stable most of the time but as it dropped they increased the dosage. The next day they were to move him to ICU since there was finally a bed available. We didn't get to see him even after waiting for more than an hour outside ICU. We sneaked in several times only to be turned away saying they would call us in when they were done. We were tired and there wasn't any seats outside ICU so we finally decided to go home and come back the next morning. After my bath mum asked if i wanted to see him, i did, i really really did but i knew they were tired so i just asked her for a prayer book. As i finished the fire tablet my phone rang and it was the hospital calling to say the doctor wanted to see me. We rushed like mad to the hospital and prayed fervently hoping and wishing it was all going to be ok.

We arrived and were allowed in to see him, it was around 9pm. The news was bad, the doctor said he might not make it through the night. His family arrived shortly after. I was allowed to stay in his room from then on while others took turns to come in. his BP was too low for a dialysis and all the toxin and medication injected in all these while wasn't coming out. There wasn't much hope but i wished it anyway. Holding his hand i stayed by his side talking, crying, praying. His hands and legs were so cold but his temperature was slowly rising consistently. He wasn't fighting it. there was a period where his BP did go up from 60-78 and i hoped so very much he would be able to reach 100 so the doctors could do something. It started dropping again and i knew i had to let him go. It dropped slowly and i watched him fade. I talked about everything i wanted to tell him and i warmed his cold hands and feet. He was bleeding beneath the skin. His body was extremely bloated and stiff. It just felt painful watching the nurses constantly changing numerous tubes of drugs around him, keeping him alive. through sheer exhaustion i somehow dozed at the side of his bed only to be awakened by the nurse asking me to take a nap outside the ICU. I reluctantly left and sat outside. Mum and dad came and took me to the nearby visitors rest area where i curled up on the sofa. Less the half an hour later i was shaken awake and saw a nurse asking us to come quick. I knew then in my heart i would never talk to him again nor hear him call me his little pretty piggy.

He was barely there, i held him close and repeatedly told him how much i loved him and that he didn't need to worry about me, I'll be alright. I felt wretched because i wanted to be selfish, i didn't want him to leave me but i knew i had to let him go in peace. I watched him, i watched him slowly die. right there by my side, his heart stopped beating and i felt mine shatter into a million pieces. i wanted to go with him, i wanted to be with him. i just couldn't understand how he could just be there one day and be gone forever the very next day right before my eyes, right next to me.

i was in a daze as the doctor pronounced him dead and told us to leave while they prepared his body to be shifted to the morgue. I cried hard, i didn't know what else to do, i didn't cared anymore, not about the world, not about anyone, not even myself. Its like loosing a part of yourself and you keep thinking it cant be as it wasn't possible, it didn't fit into your logic. I've never cried so much, so hard in my entire life. i cried till there was no more tears and my eyes felt so sore i couldn't close them without them feeling like overstuffed dumplings.

By the time of his wake i managed to rationalize everything and put up a brave front. That night when everyone had already left i stood beside his coffin and cried. I would never see his face again, would never hold his hand or feel his kiss upon my forehead. Staring at his picture upfront i sat and cried until finally falling asleep. I tried to only cry when i was alone. i didn't want people to worry about me, i didn't want him to worry about me. I dreaded the cremation day as his physical body would be gone, it didn't make much sense as i knew it was just an empty shell and his soul was free but we get attached to things we can touch and see. After his cremation however i felt a huge sense of relieve. I still felt a strong presence, his presence. i constantly talked to him and envisioned his answers in my head. His features so clearly seen, his words so precisely true.

its been more than a week and i don't feel him as strongly anymore. I don't hear his replies as surely as they came before. i begin to doubt everything i held dear. i fear, i regret, i don't know anything anymore. i wish he would come to tell me if he stilled loved me, if he forgave me, if he was angry with me. I worry even if he came i would doubt and think it was my own imaginings. i feel like it was all my fault, i should have been there for him. i should have been there to drag him to see a doctor that night. I regret not telling him i loved him as he kissed my forehead and told me to have a safe trip. I'm angry he left me when we had so much plans ahead. He said we would have a lot more time ahead, so much to do, so much to see. The last day i saw him before i left on the bus kept replaying in my mind. i keep wishing there was a way to turn back time. i keep hoping its all a bad dream and somehow it will all be back to normal when i woke the next morning. I cant help wondering how it would have been if he never had leukemia. I blame myself for his death. i blame myself for not being there for him. i feel worthless and that i took him for granted once again. so much i wanted to tell him, we never got to say goodbye nor anything else for that matter. there is no closure. my heart is not at ease, its a selfish plea. i know it now but i know not how to carry on with all these guilt and unanswered questions.

life has lost its drive, the finishing line ceased to exist. there is no direction, no want, no need, no heart. life is just an empty passing. my future was his and his was mine. my future died and i know not where to go from here. i make it up as i go along. i see nothing, feel numb but my heart burns at the thought of him. i know not...not anymore.

** its ironic to read the post just before this one posted last year. It's like i should really take my own advise. However, now when faced with a real total loss, its easier said than done.

Memories Are Never Wasted

2010-07-18T10:27:00.005+08:00

A friend said that he felt guilty he wasted 3 years of his ex's life as they ended it due to different views on where the relationship was leading to. It immediately made me very worked up and I reprimanded him for making such a statement. True I understand what he meant about it and in what way it was applied but still the fact remains that with that very same sentence another meaning would stick to it and come along in the sidelines of it’s mentioning.

Love, Feelings, Experience, Memories...are NEVER wasted!
If you truly loved, felt it and meant it...then those memories should always be cherished as a part of lives experiences that build you as a whole. We are what we translate and decide to be out of what we see, remember and experience. Our lives are like a jigsaw puzzle that gets fitted together piece by piece. Slowly the bigger picture emerges even though there are times the pieces don’t seem to fit. Bit by bit the pieces drop into place....but not every person is the same picture nor fitted by the same hand. some give up half way, some get stuck on certain boggling pieces that don’t seem to fit anywhere, some that loose a piece of their puzzled selves, all in all its our hand that fits the puzzle together...what picture emerges however has been painted out before by a higher hand. We will never know what the final picture is until it’s finished.

Love plays a part in our little puzzle of life, some get more pieces, some get less but if just because our love stories don’t workout to be the fairytales of happy endings we want them to be that they are considered a waste of time, effort and feelings then more half our very lives spent living might as well be a waste of our time here on earth. Why? Well most of the time we end up doing things that don’t add up to our final goal in life or things we eventually accomplish.

We spend a majority of our time enjoying ourselves and trying to find happiness, wealth and that something we don’t even know but ask yourselves, out of that how many percentage of what we really do is really a 100% sure thing to accomplish the goal we desire? We don’t know...we just keep doing the things we think will make us achieve them. Those that don’t make it just end up being a small brush past and left in the memories of dust. We seldom take much notice of these little insignificant doings as they happen all the time and carry less emotional ties. Relationships however are a lot more burdensome as we are attached emotionally, physically and mentally. We take note of their coming and demise. We feel them and remember them more clearly than all the other things.

Love, I will always cherish the memories of them regardless of the final outcome...even knowing it wouldnt be a happy ending, im happy to be able to have the memories of them of times passing. The happiness felt in that time span can never be taken away, even from the short pain felt of its departure. I would rather have lived, loved and lost then to never try to experience them at all.

What I Cant Tell You...

2009-11-11T02:43:00.007+08:00

i fake a smile just to keep you happy,
you're so easily fooled you dont see its not really me,
blinded by your own need to feel secure and comforted,
i bend and mold and try to fit to be your ideal.

your words cut deep as you push me off the wall,
accusations of being self centered, heedless and all,
i turned to leave and left you a message of scorn,
but my heart pulled me back and in the end you won.

i ate my pride and held my twisted tongue,
you think of me as a little girl all childish n young,
i wordlessly tell you im not that innocent and naive,
im a lot more morbid and deeper then you make believe.

truth is the more i keep it all in,
i feel the love withering and dying within,
i long to tell you its eating me up whole,
but i know you will only judge and never console.

i tried telling you time and time again,
its not about the apology but its all in vain,
the sorry, im sorry, so sorry, very sorry,
keep repeating themselves in a never ending wheel,
cant you see im trying very hard to tell you how i feel!

you make me feel afraid to openly express myself anymore,
i wonder and wonder again what am i still hanging around for,
when i feel so fake and hurt on the inside,
but i keep it all in just to avoid a fight.

my mind tells me to say how i feel but my heart knows its futile,
i love you so and i want it to work, knowing it is all worth while,
time will tell if i can hold it all in and loose myself to love,
or crash and burn....chasing a dream, a fairytale too far above.

hugs

2009-11-10T10:37:00.000+08:00

A little hug to get you through the day,
It may not help much in any way,
But hopefully it will see you through,
As i'm including this little wish ....from me to you.

Moment Shared

2009-11-03T16:56:00.001+08:00

Through silence not a word is said
But a thought, a seed is kindly laid

Though the lack of words you’d think it solitary
I think it’s natural and only ordinary

Words get in the way
Not coz I have nothing to say

I revel in the moment where nothing is said
Just to share the connection that is made

Be not trouble thereby my silence I console
Learn to cherish the moment as a whole

You scuffed the thought and left me in a huff
Before I could even try to explain it by half

Within this idle screen I am left bound
And I miss you ….when you’re not around.

Rhythms and rhymes.

2009-10-21T01:51:00.000+08:00

As i paint peonies and dragons in an intricate weave,
My mind wonders off to a place i cannot leave,

Though i know not what images a kin to you,
but the heart i've come to know, i know it's true,

Of rhythms and rhymes i know of naught,
and this? well....
This is so you know you're always in my thoughts.

Circles and Squares - The Allegory

2008-03-10T10:29:00.006+08:00

Was listening to a song by Hilary Duff - Fly as i was on my way to work and found myself wondering about a part of the lyrics which went 'trying to fit a square into a circle was my life..'. It seemed to me it wouldnt be hard to fit a square into a circle at all, it just had to be smaller then the circle. Then again i guess what she meant was theoretically what we know about a square not fitting into a round of the same width x height n the lyrics wouldn't be as catchy going 'trying to fit a square into a circle with the same width x height was my life...' now would it.

then it got me thinking..would the length of all sides of the square that fitted into the circle be calculatable by some means of formula? we know that the total of all 4 corners will total to 360 so im sure there is a way to do this n would this random square or 4 sided oblique in a fixed sized circle always have the same total length of all sides regardless of how distorted it might become? i was curious and somehow believed it would be the same. i knew so far that the sides could be calculated if the sides were 90 degrees from the middle and all sides were the same. What i wanted to know was ... would all the sides total be the same if the shape got distorted.

i decided to find out once i reached the office. i drew 2 circles with the help of a CD and randomly drew 2 four sided oblique shapes totally different from each other. Sadly i found that they would differ..32.4cm vs 34.1cm. i was prepared for a minor difference of 3mm but not a staggering 1.7cm!! i somehow had a lot of faith it would be the same. how is it that it is confined to the same circle but differs? one side has to give way n move in if another side moves outwards..isnt it a give n take thing? shouldnt the movements of each point be compensated by the others mantaining the same length like angles? =.= aaaaaAARRRGHGHHHH... if you have an answer do let me know..

These are the random weird ideas that pop into my head sometimes. i dont always try to prove them..sometimes im more content in just pondering an theorizing..quietly and privately. today..today is a different day. Its funny how we indirectly relate our feelings in other aspects of our daily life. my heart had fallen to my feet this morning. I was never one for saving and my mum has constantly bugged me about it. I know she means well and that its so true so i agree most of the time n hold my silence. what hurt me most was that this time she stepped to far. she said keat is probably hesitant to marry me because of my spending ways and afraid he cant support me. Imagine my hurt and disappointment hearing these so called 'theory' she wants me to be aware of just so that i wouldnt turn the finger on her if anything were to go wrong in the future of my married life. Thing is..I would rather not even HAVE the memory of her saying what she said. It was mean and heartless. Mum .. no matter how well that thought was meant it was blardhy inconsiderate. u might as well be saying im marrying him for cash ..oh wait no, i forgot u also showed shock on discovering how much he made a month.... I couldnt stand it anymore and retorted that we already went to choose the rings n what the hell rubbish was she trying to imply. she then rephrased it and said maybe he is afraid he cant support me financially and so he stalls the wedding to accumulate more savings for our future wedding. I was already deaf to her by then so i said goodbye n got out of the car. i called keat at the station and i was crying like an idiot. i blamed him for stalling. its always his stupid decisions that end up making me miserable when my mum comes and gives me these type of stress. I remember the last ones were always about her bugging me about getting married. =.= As if people wont talk about you being so despo for me to get married lah zzzz.

Another thing i cant stand is the way she often justify her other 'advices' by saying its for my own good (i agree she means well) and that she dont want people to backbite about me if i failed to watch my step. Thing is..im as conservative as it blarhdy gets!!! Keat even sleeps in the living hall on the floor when he stays over for gods sakes!!! thats like 2 and a half storeys from me and one locked door apart. If people wanted to talk they could just ignore the fact of where he sleeps and just say he sleeps over often at my house and it would be just as malicious. what im trying to say is that we shouldnt always be soooooooo god-darn preoccupied about what people think and say. and this is when she says, avoid as much as possible, why even let them have a doubt or a reason to start talking. she gets frustrated everytime i come home late, she worries if i travel alone but gets offended of the few times i insisted on going to singapore with keat as company to met up with friends. Its like she can never be happy with anything i do unless i stay locked in the house away from people. As it is im already secluded in the outskirts of town with no other transport then to walk down to the KTM or by car which i dont have nor cant drive.

I guess the reason why i wanted my little experiment to be what i believed it to be was because i so badly needed to see something i believe in come true. In the end i wonder if i was the one wrong or the one wronged.

Happy Valentines!~

2008-02-14T02:16:00.012+08:00

I was slacking on the bed reading one of Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels curtesy of Shummy when my handphone buzzed an sms. It hit me suddenly that its 12.00am!!Oh shit oh shit.. i havent written the usual sappy sms to send to my darling bf. I opened it and as usual its sweet but predictable ol' dear. I franticly try to magic something poetic in less then 5 mins but it ends up cheesy n unpoetic? nvm he wont notice it =x
Its not very romantic in fact u can see irony in every line. The dirty lilens n what not.

Year by year we stick together,
Past the barks n bites comes the heal n sore.

We face the odds and battle our differences,
By means of words and showers of sparks,
By touch of hand and caress so light.

Six years have past and our love still shines,
My true and dear, will you forever be mine?
Through years and years, always, my Valentine...

Kies.. so its kinda suxy and cacat-ed but hell i was nvr one for literature n essays. most of my english classes were spent day dreaming or being threatened by the english teacher. =.=

* Thankies to Fai for the codes for the mouse effects!~

Relationships & such...

2008-02-10T15:29:00.003+08:00

Its all about give and take.

You give, I take.
You give me what I want and I'll take it for granted.
I give orders and u take 'em.
I take you shopping and u give me a credit card.
You give me reason to believe ur cheating and i'll take the living breath outta you.

Sweet aint it? ^_^

* This popped into my head one sunday morning.. somehow x.x

Weighty Blues

2008-02-09T20:23:00.002+08:00

Many ppl think that by downsizing food u can loose weight or even skipping it.

This is what i know:
small portions do make a difference but the nature of it make even more difference. e.g:

How its prepared
1) a plate of fried chips/french fries vs a baked plain potatoes> baked wins as chips are fried over n over n have added crap in it, flavorings, msg, conditioner who knows blah blah..

2) Coleslaw VS Salad VS carrot sticks/celery sticks.
Coleslaw = cfm die liao..as the dressing is already a sper killer. the veges too sliced up n the Vits are gone..bbye bye liao.
Salad is ok wit french dressing/vinaigrette or lemon..olive is still oil so its second here.
Carrot, cucumber, turnip n celery sticks are best when ur mouth is itchy n have a small craving. skip the dressings mind u. thye taste good just like this. well u may not like cucumbers but the small zucchini ones are really nice n sweet. u get loads of chewing going on and its health + ur daily dose of fibers. mum usually makes these in the afternoons or evenings to nibble.

Condition of it
Fresh is always better. Organic = bonus
White meat (chicky, prawn, fish...) is a healthier choice then then red meat (pork, beef...)
choose lean meat. skip fatty bits. its like this..if 1 fatty piece = 3pcs of lean meat..which would u choose?
if u said the fatty piece then =.= zzz. coz i'd rather take 3 pcs of meat!!!! lol

Somethings-gotta-give theory.
its something i use daily. like if i eat a buffet lunch i take a salad dinner.
if i only ate a small normal meal at lunch i can treat myself to a western grill dinner.
little balancing is all it takes. do it as a daily balancing not a monthly thingy.
balance what u eat in A DAY!! not a week =.= like stuff ur self silly coz its eat all u want week n next weeks diet week so we eat first n diet latter...not gonna work babe.
in case of inexcusable feasting (like this CNY) control where possible like skipping soft drinks (killer with 8 spoons of sugar!!). dont even tell me bout the coke light crap =.= its gimick to get u drinking n not feel guilty about it. for the calories it gives i could have a good sandwich instead. always keep track of what goes down ur throat so u can neutralize it latter of. think of it like maths. 1 slice pie go in = 15 mins work out or... something along those lines.
its good for balancing n mantaining...

starving urself is not gonna help.. once ur body realises its starving (u dont think of it as such but cells have a an altogether thinking as ur brains...theirs rely on inborn nature of survival (lol). u might think of it as dieting but ur body percieves it as starvation. how it reacts is frustrating...it hoards fat....yeahp..here u are thinking ur gonna loose further weight but ur body ends up only loosing 'so much' it can take before nature kicks in n u find ur self not loosing anymore weight even though ur not eating!! and then... omg why at i putting on weight instead!!!...it may be slight but ppl who resort to 'not eating' diet might take a 1kg increase as an insult to their starving regime. ( not refering to anyone..just me being silly n lame =x)

all in all its a been there, done that...ohh have i mentioned that models n actresses believe smoking helps them loose weight n not feel like eating...=.= yeah it helps a little i guess if not a smker n know it already.. n ohh say, shortens ur life by maybe 10-20 years...who knows..the question is 'do u feel lucky?' ^__^

DIY manicure

2007-09-17T16:55:00.002+08:00

wokiess.. i know i've been missing a month of posts..sry.
hmm i did take part in this awesome competition that could win me a macbooc, n95 nokia or an ipod...or maybe nothing at all..it depends on votes from u guys so..HELP!!

nvm nvm will post about the competition in the next post..just gonna make this quick as im in the office *glances around n tries to look busy with work*

as the topic says ..TA DAH!~~ my most recent brain child borne of ruthless boredom (n also the fact my com was being hogged by my dad...darn i wan that macbook)

oh and those wondering what happened to the lil project i was talking bout previously..about the online wardrobe shopping thingy..its done..still taking our own sweet time getting photos of outfits taken..it actually take a lot of time to get garments properly taken n show the details to its fullest advantage. not to say we are pro at it but we are still trying.. enjoy..

www.aisumomo.blogspot.com

we also have a posting at www.malaysianbabes.net

Rainy days on mondays...

2007-07-23T10:48:00.001+08:00

So its been raining the whole weekend. =.= i planned a nice getaway to Melaka then off to the PD house with dear and it somewhat ended being a lazy lamy holiday. Melaka was lovely as the weather allowed us to walk for hours. Dear bought me a tourmaline necklace ^_^. After that it was off to PD. We took like 2 n a half hours to get the house cleaned up. The grass was chest high, there was lizard, rat n bird poop, we had termite infestation, ants were everywhere!! and several roaches around.

We managed to get things in order and went out looking for food. I like night markets ^_^ loads of food!~ we ate some n bought alot back. The corn was super nyummy x.x wish had i bought a plate of 4 instead of just one. Oh, we wasted 40 bucks coz keat reversed n bumped into some guys kancil =.=

Bro joined us late that night n finished our special burger that was untouched as we had bought too much food. We had lunch at Blue Lagoon with our usual nasi lemak with curry. They still have one of the best nasi lemaks in PD. Dinner was even more gastranomic. Seafood!~ the hotplate oysters, BBQ stingray n prawn curry was a blast.

I didnt think to take pics as i was too hungry. We polished everything of the plates Xd. haihzz n now its back to work.

BTW me, meow n bro are doing an online wardrobe thingy. Still under construction but will be up soon for viewing. Will post the site addy here as soon as its working.

Birds of a Feather,

2007-06-15T17:53:00.001+08:00

...they day-dream together.

...A year wiser...

2007-05-30T16:41:00.001+08:00

Another year passes and that most anticipated day for little kids comes around again; food, parties and presents. No its not Christmas ...its a day u begin to dread n try to ignore when u get over a quarter centuary old. Reality hits home and u ask that same question He would probably ask u at that moment....'So, what have u done lately?..'. I tried to sound convincing as i replied 'I..er..I churn out loads of design for ladies n men wear to cope with demand and ever changing fancies of the fashion industry in order to keep up with the current retail market so that people have pretty clothes to wear?' . BOOOOM! A thunder bolt shoots out of the skies and explodes beside me, barely missing my left ear. 'YOU ARE ENCOURAGING HUMANS TO INDUGE IN MY FOREWARNED DEADLY SINS! YOU ARE HERE BY CONDEMNED INTO THE FIRE-Y DEPTHS OF NETHER HELL!' *Poof*

So,.... what have YOU done lately? ^_^ *smirks*

Aside from the ghastly insight to my spiritual turmoil, I'm secretly enjoying my life. Nevermind the suxy work I have to do, nvrmd all the crappy people, ignore the nasty thoughts and blah blah blah.

To Get List
- too many to list thus it shall have to remain empty other then my crappy writting.

About To Get List
- new HP
- Intous3 Wacom tablet
- VERY VERY VERY cute shoes that elean had to order coz they didnt have my size.

Just Got List
- Dior Summer Play Limited Edition Gloss.
- CLOTHES!~~
- Facial n spa package.

Long Time Gone

2007-04-06T10:26:00.001+08:00

Cant stand people who keep asking me when I’m getting married. I mean like what is the point. If I were to be tied you’d know coz I’d be spamming my blog, your e mails n phones now wouldn’t I? Am I that old or look that desperate to you? It doesn’t mean just coz my bro is getting married it would mean that I’d have to get married the very next minute so stop asking for heavens SAKE!!NO so bugger of peeps. Sheeesh… (dedicated to the countless comments and questions from pesky relatives n family friends at my bro’s wedding) ..n just for the record, I’m happy as I currently am.

Jumping on to next topic: Work!~
I’ve been handling 2 brands since the launch of Komodo; guys hip hop n street wear. Juggling both brands alone in the wholesale scene is kinda like suicide. As if spamming to get at least 30 designs into Moet each month for the ladies wasn’t bad enuff I currently have to make bags, wallets, shirts and caps design plus print. Multi tasking at its peek people!~ power to the butta XD…ok now I’m starting not to make sense. As predicted I’m doing much better of at Komodo. I work well with Alice too, who happens to be my buyer. Still looking for a replacement for my post at Moet..any takers? If you like traveling, shopping n have a fashion sense that walks 2 paces b4 the currently scene…by all means let me know. Don’t know how much longer this is gonna hold up. The work load is one apart of it, the other is my conscience telling me WTH are you doing 2 jobs for the pay of 1 …which, I totally agree with. Late nights n 7 days a week aren’t gonna hold up for long tau keh..(glares at M & R)

Financially I’m spacing out. Shopping like mad n buying needless/meaningless items. The lastest lame buy was 2 wax seal stick for 17.50 per stick. It’s the size of those CNY candles =.=. I don’t get why I paid 35 bucks for 2 tiny candles. *nags self* I was kicking myself right after I stepped out of the shop. For once Eddy was smart not to blow it..said it was ok as long I felt happy. He knows my spending habit by now I guess. Still its no excuse, I really have to control it b4 it goes out of hand, which is why I’m still debating on applying for that new credit card =/. ***for ppl reading this n going ..Wth is with her n complaining n grumbling…in case you havent noticed that’s what my blog is for. Self gratification, complaining n posting my L337 photos..muahaha.

Ooh ohh n I wanna say that my last trip to china was a blast. It was all partee partee, clubby hopping n food Xd. I seriously thought night life in china as all ’jeng’ n ’shee shee shuo shuo’ but this trip totally proved me wrong *bows*. All thanks to Linda, a butt whippingly cool chick who parties for a living it seems.. n dances as sleek as a snake mind you even though given the plumpish appearance. It was a dance all night affair even though all I brought were 3 t shirts n 2 jeans..like omfg I looked so freaking lame but wada heck..no one knows me n the moves saved the day. Goes to prove if you can shake it, it dun matter what ur wearing. The difference is that peeps there don’t dance if they cant n most of them just sit around drinking n playing dice/hand games. Those that do dance are nice to watch XD.

Enuff blabbering for now. *LUNCHIES!~*

The Road Not Taken

2007-03-26T10:19:00.001+08:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I was on the MRT this morning n noticed there were poems on the Ad board. I, for one appreciate people who think differently and make a difference. Rather than the usual lame ads. these were enlightening as they were entertaining. The poem above was the last one of the 4 i read. He tells of how there was a fork in the road much like our lives filled with choices. At that juncture we have to make a choice both roads may seem the same n we try to look further to where it leads, we try to see outcome or effect of each action or direction we take. After making the decision all but is left is to enjoy it n make the best of it. Should it turn rough n dangerous, just be wary n stay focused. It will all be ok at the end of the day.

I fell in love with the 3 lines in bold. I felt there was so much meaning n truth in them, yet they were just said so casually.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

He shares with us how once a choice is made we will often think of how differently it might have been should we have chosen otherwise. We would wish to have probably taken the other n hope to have had a chance to retake the other route just to see where it leads. BUT he knows that once u make a decision it often leads to another desicion and as time goes on its just too many levels down a multi level marketing pyramid to go back to the start n retry all the other choices. The probability keeps increasing in so many folds u just cant predict of phantom the outcome n all u have is but to go one with the one u chose. We look back once in a while, its not wrong but just remember to look forward or u might stumble n fall.

Last 2 sentence gives us courage to choose with faith. Its ok to be different n follow a path not many has taken, we can choose not to be a sterotype. Make your own path, follow your own dreams, make a difference, not only in your own life but also to those around u as well.

**Other artsy fartsy stuff: Check out Peter Callesen's gallery of divine paperworks. They are AMAZING!! All his works are intricate and beautiful i am at a lost of words to discribe. I love them all to bits but should i have to choose one i would choose 'Alive, but Dead', a piece of work with colourful poppies withering down cut out of the background of many layers of paper.

Jack of All Trades

2007-03-25T21:02:00.001+08:00

It's a boring sunday. I was just trying to enjoy myself gaming in the sweltering heat till dad needed the com. I got bored n decided to listen to some new Cd's I bought the day before. Somehow the player has had some problems before this. It tends to work fine in FM mode but CD's tend to be very very soft or have no sound at all. I decided i would fix this matter once n for all. I got my screwdriver out n started taking out all the screws visible. Some were embedded in deep holes so i had to get some backup equipment(from my brothers stash of coz XD). It was a slow process as i had to locate all screws on the outside n slowly search for hidden ones here n there.

The hardest part was to actually dismantle the casatte players closure. With that removed i could open the player into half n continue my exploration. Took out many many more screws, especially those on the LCD board which itself had 8 screws. Pulled out the player section after taking off the tuner n volume dials. I suspected a loose fitting somewhere coz when i shaked the player it would sometimes get its sound back. After much meddling n poking around i decided to check if it was fixed so i popped in a Cd n plugged the mangled pieces of my 'was' player. IT WORKED FINE!!! lol. Then came the hard part. I never actually thought i would be able to fix it let alone put it back together. Screws of all sizes n length littered around me on the floor.

Note to self: Remember which screw belongs to which hole =.=.

Task at hand: Poke 20 over screws into their rightful holes n screw them back in. Bit by bit i stuffed it back together. In the end i still had one screw left n i seriously have no idea where it came from. Since the player worked fine i didnt see a reason to take apart the whole unit again just for a dumb screw. So there it sits, alone n unused, with a very happy me. ^___^ GO BUTTA!~

**This may seem like an old trashy player but it's of sentimental value to me. It was the second thing i bought with my first paycheck 5 years back n costed me a dear 450. (first was a handphone)

Drats, RATS!!

2007-03-23T16:37:00.001+08:00

Yes, we have a rat problem. They ate everything from the cookies to the bread, Celina's shoe n coffee mixes. One even crawled into San's bag to eat her maggi mee. It's like they are wagging a war with us since we tried to kill them with rat poison, which happens to be doing nothing much. Not only the shop but the whole kenanga area is swarmed with rats. What is it with them anyways. Is it like some baby boom for rat species?? They are so freaking HUGE!! On average they are about 6 inches long excluding tail and 10cm across. I kid you not! They litter the streets in bloody masses, squashed by cars. Imagine the amount running around in order to be squashed n littered around the area.

Lets count the corpses shall we....one dead n dried up bone near the outside of the toilet, one on the road in front of our shop, two on the grill of the longkang near MRT, 2 in the back lane. one at the side lane, one near hong Leong, one here one there, one one one EVERYWHERE....LIKE OMFG!!!! Seriously i'm soo very tempted to post a pic of the squashed rat on the grill but im afraid no one will ever click this site again due to the excessive trauma it might cause.

Am I the only one freaking out at the sight of massive amounts of dead rats squashed all around the area??? Not to mention the sight of LIVE RUNNING ONES!! *faints* they are seriously smart n fast. Before this i ddi notice one or 2 dead, but this is getting wayyy~ out of hand. Its like an epidemic time bomb just waiting to go off. Don't people see the danger in having to work 6 days a week in a rat infested enviroment?

Morning call

2007-03-20T11:46:00.001+08:00

Just got home this morning at 3.30am..dead tired. I ate everything under the sun n didnt get a stomache upset in thailand but ironically the light snack at the thai airport gave me the worse purging in history. it wasnt soft..it was blarhdy liquified...zzzz just imagine how bad the food was. Even worse then the road side stalls selling fried sausage.anyways..enuff of the gross stuff.

Managed to met up with my mom on the last day. we all went to 'makan' at the muslim store beside Banglampu. Syok, missed that beef n chicken rice..as usual i was to hungry to rmbr to take pictures. After that me n mum went shopping for a gown for bro's wedding. Mine was a pretty blue strap dress with drapes of flowing chiffon and a satin sash. wheeet!~ mum said she'll get her latter on.

Mum took us to eat ice cream at Swensons..^.^ missed mum so much. She lost weight which is surprising coz shes back in thailand where EVERYONE puts on weight XD.
I overspent as usual. Spent 800 in 3 days. First day didnt count as we didnt really buy much. Most of which was for company's samples.

I went to see Thaigirls show with San n Jess....no comments other then GROSS seriously i think its lap dancing gone seriously wrong n twisted. They fking couldnt lap dance (except 2 of them). It was beside the point anyway since the so-called lap dance was like for less then 10 sec b4 their acts begin...*rolls eye* totally not sexy ..just plain gross.

Went clubbing. Noticed my last toenail on right foot totally tore off...freakish..Must have torn when i tripped on the high toilet partition int he hotel room. Seriously weird ppl making a foot partition more then 12 cm high. lammers

All in all a so-so trip. =.= im going back to sleep. *snoozzeeeee*

Honey & Crystal

2007-03-12T11:33:00.001+08:00

My lovely new soft toys from Nici. Dear bought them for me as we were shopping in 1 Utama since he didnt get me a pressy for valentines. I actually fell in love with them when they first came out b4 valentines but knowing he spent so much already so i didnt ask for anything. =x So happy when he said if like then buy la. x.x *melts* he even bought the smaller one for me to put on my office desk awwwwww.

We latter walked past a crystal shop. Dear mentioned he wanted a citrine charm b4 so i decided we go take a look. The first thing we picked out was actually a pendant which costed 700+ so we backed off and were about to walk out when we passed the bracelet section. Dear and i peeked at them n got the now reluctant salesperson (since we backed off on the pendant she thought we fooling around)to show us some designs. We settled on a bracelet with a pricy tag so the saleperson seemed more enthusiastic all of a sudden. taking anything out that we should poke at or mention to be pretty. I saw a white n black crystal bracelet in the form of bamboo locks. Interesting but missing smthg. Then i saw a pretty stretch bangle type which came in alternating green n purple colours. *melt* choose that.

By this time the saleperson was introducing all types off different crystals in various shapes n sized. Dear got attracted to an agate pendent in a long tube like shape with white markings of 3 eye n tigers tooth. He got that stringed into an adjusable pendant.

Packed Bags n Flight Tickets..

2007-03-07T10:29:00.001+08:00

Time is running short n I'm burning out. My skin is stretched on so tightly i feel like tearing it off n breaking loose. my hope n ambitions run short as reality bites its biggest mouthful. It hurts but i grit my teeth n carry on. Im hopeful n i think i can. Thanks for all the support. If i fail again i guess there isint much hope in staying on as my spirit n enthusiasm is running dry. I need something, I dont know what.

* An angel smiled upon my fate n thus i am freed of my plight.
** In simple english my trip to china has been delayed till next month. in stead i will be going to thailand approx. in 2 weeks time or so. Ahhh...~ that feels sooo good XD. n the icing on the cake gets better. i will be making trips to both china n thailand on monthly basis. well i dun actually think i'd be going monthly to thailand as that would be too often maybe at least 2-3 mnths once.

Snake at Work

2007-02-28T14:56:00.001+08:00

Just finished Bishy's siggy for Rakion. Gah I'm lost in my work. x.x...~elp!~

Cupid's Target Practice

2007-02-15T12:30:00.001+08:00

Ahhh its that time of year again when roses cost 15 bucks a stalk and getting a parking space or table without reservations takes forever . Not all too romantic there aye? Not unless u have a dear darling who takes the effort to do the planning. With that said u must be thinking im such a lucky devil. Na ahh! 'coz i was the darling who did the planning n bookings *pfffftt*!~ =.=

..But he issit all bad..he did get me my fav flowers delivered to the office. *melts looking at casablancas* for those who are clueless bout flowers, casablanca (lilium liliaceae) is a big white flower from the lily family. These babies are elegant, dramatic n has an irresistable scent when it blooms. My mum complains it gives her headaches as the scent really gets too overpowering should u buy them in a dozen. This is probably coz one stalk usually has a bout 3 buds so 12x3 = 36! haahaa. This time round in the spirit of Valentine, keat bought me half a dozen which obviously burnt a hole in his pocket. I nearly fainted when I signed the reciept of collection..my babies costed 270 bucks. Thank you so very much St. Valantines for making this day such a lucrative economic boost for florists, gift shops, lingerie boutiques, restaurants and what not.

I currently have my babies on sitting beside my bathroom sink. I only keep a stalk beside my bed ^__^.

We had dinner at Checkers. Special on the menu...lobster!~ Dont drool over the pic. haha it was fresh n succulent. The spaghetti absorbed in all the flavours n juices of the lobster making it a divine combo, not to mention a filling meal. Being a big eatter I was skeptical of the lobster (size/portion vs $$) as it was said to be a meal for 2. I wasn't disappointed at all.

Sam was his usual joker self n nearly scared away an elderly couple hoping to get lucky without reservations when he was fooling with a machete sized knife at our table. I coulda died laughing looking at the couples face as they walked up the steps to see Sam holding the knife behind his back while standing beside our table.

We ate ice cream!! I didnt feel like having dairy-packed flavours so I choose Green Tea n Raspberry. Still think Hagen Daaz has the best green tea flavor XD.

*to be continued pictures of my babies!~

Ribbons and Wrappers

2007-02-13T22:50:00.001+08:00

I got dear a pair of Nike's as he has been constantly saying he wants to buy new shoes..I couldnt agree better. For someone who doesnt wash their shoes for 2 years he'd better be getting new ones =.= and this time im making sure he washes them. RAWR!~

I wanted to play a joke on him so I used the Nike box to wrap clothes i had bought for him instead of the shoe itself. When he opens it he'd happy be thinking its shoes. Poofy he is disappointedly looking at clothes. Then I surprise him with a paper bag saying its some cookies I bought but infact its his shoes inside XD

Had fun wrapping it... lalla I love wrapping...

Tarot reading

2007-02-12T01:01:00.001+08:00

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Addictive tunes

2007-02-11T22:03:00.001+08:00

My all time fav is Long Vacation - Under the Moonlight. It's the theme song for a jap series or so thats what my bro told me. while I was relinking my blog, I heard this song on a shiki's blog n the beginning tune just smothered me with that mellow n dreamy feeling. The weird part is i only heard like 3 sec of the song, somehow my browser doesnt enable me to listen to it n i only got a 'beep' of it, but i somehow knew i'd love it. I asked him if it was possible to pass me the file n he sent it thru MSn which eventually failed. i was so disappointed but then he sent me a msg to check my email. WOOT he sent it thru mail!~~ D/L n listened to it non stop till now x.x . ADDICTIVE. It's listed as Dreamz FM (Meng Fei Chuan) - Bu Zhi De (meaning not worthwhile if im not mistaken). Burned it into a CD n also added it into my mp3 player so i can listen to it in my room n while commuting to work n back home. *melts as she listens to the soft breezy notes and catchy tune*

Pancakes!!

2007-02-10T15:37:00.001+08:00

Who woulda thought pancakes came in so many different variations; shape, taste n size. I wanted to try this place out at The Curve for quite sometime now. It's called Paddington the House of Pancakes. This was actually our second visit that I remembered to take pictures before actually finishing my meal halfway. XD

I love their burger type pancakes as they are stacked real high n the meat patty is so tasty like its homemade. Keat n I have always had a bad habit of ordering too much as we are big eatters. Caution!! this meal is filling...=.= by the time dessert came we were practically stuffing the pancake coins n mini marshmellows up our noses hahaha.

This is a visual of how full we were. I have a bad habit of playing with my food. hehe

Ironic

2007-02-09T12:40:00.002+08:00

Have u ever felt like seing someone all of a sudden while day dreaming. Lo n behold they appear infront of u but u just dont know how to react in the spur of the moment n end up pretending not to see n just walk on by.

A Celestial Sign

2007-02-07T01:23:00.001+08:00

It was a sign from up above. It shone so brightly oh those rays of light. Awe and joy filled my empty shell, drained from a days work. My hands instinctivly gropped around inside my bag for my camera (I always carry it in my handbag as i get amused easily). For a moment i was this whacky gal sticking her head n arms out of the window of a moving car taking picturs of the sky. Ahhh it felt good. XD

CNY Decos

2007-01-31T01:15:00.001+08:00

It's good to see The Curve is putting in effort into their interior display.The one I did for Moet is ZHUN! as many people have commented and even asked if I could do it for them as well. *Head grows big n bigger*. Not to mention those that just came in to say it was nice *Expands more n more* XD Hmm havent got the pic of the fully deco'd one only the front glass displays. Will post up once I bother to take pictures.

KTM = Kamu Tidak Muat

2007-01-30T01:09:00.001+08:00

As the topic says ... dum KTM. It was so packed i didn't even bother to go down to the platform till 3 trains had gone = bout an hour plus.

My Overdued AMCF.

2007-01-28T21:21:00.001+08:00

It has been noted that I hardly seem to get sick except for my unavoidable 'Annual Major Case of Flu'. Last years was way overdue but no time to touch wood as speak of the devil and he comes knocking on your door. After days of feeling feverish n thinking I'm delusional into thinking I'm sick since I hardly ever get sick, its undeniable now I am showing signs of viral flu.

Though its progress its slow to take effect as I think my body is trying to fight it from taking over, so is the time I'm spending feeling half sick. Wish I could just get a full blown flu n get it over with rather then feeling like shyt and still look healthy. I cant swallow food, drinking makes it hurt, sneezing makes my head feel like blowing up then again so does making sudden movements to my head or even getting up in a hurry. Weirdly though is that I hardly cough but when I do, my head throbs like it’s being banged on both sides. Phlegm is starting to show up but at least the sore throat seems to be clearing up a lil after I started taking Redoxen. Good thing about not taking all these daily suppliments is that when you eventually do take them they work wonders. I've always had this theory whereby the body gets so used to the daily intake of those suppliments that they become dependent on it making them vunerable when they dont take it. In the event of sickness, they increase the intake burdening their liver n kidneys (i think its these two). As a person who hardly takes pain killers, a normal Panadol works wonders. As for those who always use Panadol as a magic one pill cures all solution, they themselves say that they have to increase the number of intakes or up the dosage of the usual ones.

As if that’s not enough to kill my New Years spirit, this jobs getting way hell over my ass. I guess shifting my time management to 6 days a week 9-6 is not as easy as I thought it would be. Its as though my body just shifts into relax mode on Sunday and even before it gets to hit party mode it is forced to shift back into pre programmed robot working mode. I thank you God for the workload to keep me from thinking of time while on working days but seriously God, you should’a made 2 days of rest rather then one.

Last nights movie with Sara, Talan and Naysan went ok. Enjoyed the movie ( The Holidays) and it rather reminded me of the movie Love Actually. Good to know Naysan's doing well in his job (secretly plots to kill him for being such a lucky B* lol). Sara and Talan are still cluelessly cute as usual. Time seems to move fast as college days pass, so Naysan agrees.

Working life throws you into a monotonous zombie cycle that you just seem to work like clockwork. It helps to know you shouldn’t over wind that spring or it’ll get broken. On the contrary, winding takes a little help taking the form of relaxation. This might sound contradicting to the usual thinking of relaxation as ‘unwinding’. I see relaxation as helping me wind my worldly spring to get me jumping back into God’s little rat race.

Bro B-day

2007-01-16T00:23:00.001+08:00

Hmm it was 12 something past midnight meaning it was the 14th of Jan already.
I was debating to bake or not to bake..well something..didnt know what then.
finally i decided to bake muffins. Weird choice as a birthday surprise but nonetheless I was determined to make it good. After much poking I found several relevant recipes, none was the exact one I needed (I haven’t tried baking muffins before). *bing bang slapsh brrrrr…..TING!* first batch came out too hard as I used too much eggs. Second batch of my Lingon berries muffin turned out well. I choose the prettiest and wrapped it with shimmer paper and a velvet ribbon. It was past 3am and I felt like melting so I went to bed. Made plans the next day to fetch Cat from KL Central and then go surprise my bro at his office as he was working long early shift. We opted to be adventures and try the Checkers restaurant bro found thru Shum.

It’s located in a residential area in Bukit Damansara sitting in the middle of a single row of shop lots. Seriously hard to find but oh so worth it. Business hours are from 6-10pm except Wednesdays. They serve good portions of yummilicious home cooked tasting western food. Owned by Mr. Tan and Mr. Sam, 2 funky blokes who enjoys cooking as much as relaxing out in the patio chit chatting with the patrons. They know most customers by name as the shop houses a max of probably 30pax at a go therefore reservations are a must if you plan to go after 7pm. I loved the special touch they put into each dish as it is so well balanced; chunky meat + tasty salads = reasonable price. You can skip the menu if you’re adventurous, as we found out, the best way to order is by their recommendation. We had heard about ‘The Lord of The Ribs’ from Shum but even he hadn’t tried it yet as be fore-warned it is HUGE!!! Imagine bro, Keat and I (cant count Cat as she eats too little), 3 lil pigs, could eat it as a main course! There was easily about half a rack of ribs SMACKED on this tray with 3 salads beside it. Taste wise its ok but the portion was syok. Haha.

If you’re going for taste then try Stuffed Pork, Porky, Mexican Pork, Fried Kurau or Roast Rib. YES by now you would have guessed it, they specialize in PORK. Sorry all abang and kakak, non-halal. XD

The shop has numerous photos and comic strips punning piglets into their silly jokes. I liked the photo of 2 piglets on a fence as Sam says it’s him and Mr.Tan (Sam claims Mr.Tan is the dirty one on the left). We enjoyed it so much we made reservations for mums B-day on Feb 4th. **She loved it too. I found the deadly chilli sauce amusing. Made from jalapeños, it’s said to be viciously hot but it’s no sweat for mum who is a born and bred Thai.(**back dated posting)

Drum Rolls

2006-12-31T12:59:00.001+08:00

Its the end of 2006 and i sit here with you watching the sunset on this beautiful sandy beach. We watched as the kids ran and played along the shoreline, the breeze blowed softly as the tide came in. Reflecting on the past year we waited, and waited as the sands of times drifted past. The evening sun turned into copper-gold rimed with pink and violet hues, we stared into the horizon watching it dip into the oceans afar.

A silent vow and the touch of your hand,
Our futures are set and together we stand.

Jingle Jangle All The Way

2006-12-24T12:55:00.001+08:00

*Back dated posting*

Whee, Merry christmas one n all. 'Tis the season to be jolly!
Happy birthday Dazey ^.^

Off to singapore to celebrate x mas as usual and also this year its extra special as its Waltz n iVodka's gathering, also its dazeys bday! Would like to thank u all for planning the itinerary n being our hosts. To nu er's...TY for the cute soft toy! Pics are ready for your viewing pleasure at photobucket. Message me on msn for the user and guest pass.

Happy thoughts:
1) SHOPPING!! Managed to buy some really nice clothes XD
2) Meeting up with Waltz n iVodka peeps
3) My 2006 swarovski star ^.^, yet another year is coming to an end.
4) Marche!~ Need i say more? *melts at the thought of roast pork knuckles*
5) The fettucini that made my mouth n lips turn black. *points at vara...muahha u TOO!!!*

Bummers:
1) My hotel booking. No comments =.=
2) Hole in my pocket haha
3) Going back to work x.x

Winter Wonderland

2006-12-22T22:09:00.001+08:00

Gosh I love the weather now in china. We took the plane straight to Guang Zhou this time on china southern airlines. I found out that my visa was only valid for 2 trips and had expired during the last one so I had to get the visa on arrival. Lousy plane, thank god I had a zen vision. I was keeping my fingers crossed as we took the shuttle bus to the rented condos as the plane was already a disaster so I expected just as much with the condo. Surprise, surprise, it turned out to be under the Ascott's group of companies. Springdale Serviced Residence. Woot...even the bathroom roxed. San n I had already plotted an evil plan to take over the master bedroom leaving the other small room for both our bosses. Needless to say the gals won. muahaha. M n R had to take turns sleeping in the room while the other on the sofa. Weirdly enough they ended up preferring the sofa to the bed.

I loved tucking into the fluffy down feather comforters each night after taking a hot soak in the bathtub. The toilets unique design allows u to view the whole bathroom from the bed. *kinky!~*. We had cooking and washing facilities, which I thought was great as I often get hungry at nights while working and also we could wash our clothes FOC. The first night San n I had nothing better to do then to try out the washer and dryer. We tested with my pair of socks…yes…ONE pair of dirty socks..it took ages to dry apparently n numerous tries in getting the key setting right. The second time we used it our collection of undies turn out clean n dry. (har har har we really bo liaos)

Yay got to wear my new Naf Naf coat eddy dear bought me.

Hot stuff..this szechuen meal will blow ur mind out. everything was soaking in chilli oil and fried with these chilli pepper seeds that numb your mouth n lips. I liked the floral tea alot n how the guy poured the hot water using this kettle with super long spout.

Sotong!~~ This shop sells deep fried sotongs to chicky parts that are then dipped into chilli powder. The aroma dragged at me as I walked past to go to the bus station. Couldn't resist buying some to try. As usual they all warned me of tummy upsets. What can I say, I have a steel stomache. Lets just say the rest of them got a free stomach cleansing. Muahaha

Vainies!!!

We 3 decided to go on a last minute shopping spree n ended up leaving 5-6 bags each. It was so heavy we had to take a taxi back to the condo eventhough we had walked
to get there in the first place. Check out the instant noodles we stocked up on hahaha.

Home Sweet.....eh?

2006-12-22T09:26:00.001+08:00

I got home day before ..sprained my wrist carrying all my big baggage. Had to run some bank errands yesterday and went choose cat’s wedding gowns. I watched Eragon at night with eddy, bro n cat. Parents left for Chiang Mai, bro left for PD this morning. Dad came back suddenly n said his passport expiring in January =.=. he is rushing off to renew it now as I type here. i have to go to work =.=... never mind I’m leaving tomorrow ..woopie!~ will update this when I get home tonight.

Cheap laughs

2006-12-11T00:11:00.001+08:00

While trying to find something to entertain myself with in my hotel room, i came across the room service menu. It took a while to understand what most of them meant as they used literal translation from chinese to english.

Examples of what not to do in ur english exams chinese educated peeps.

This other menu was da bomb...literally ....not only that, they also tell u what not to order. Most menus tell u only whats good n special...this hotel gives u a 360 on good bad n ugly....such as low quality vegetables...

Girls just wanna have fun...sry boss =x

Guang zhou toilet horor

2006-12-09T22:42:00.002+08:00

We would have to make trips to Guang Zhou by bus several times during each visit. On the first visit to the Gong Mun Zham (i think thats the name) i got the shock of my life. All this while i had heard stories of how u needed to carry an umbrella in chna as toilets didnt have doors or high walls. So far those i had encountered were the normal sort only much much more disgustingly stinkier n littered with stuff i wouldnt care to explain as it would turn ur stomach contents inside out. Therefore, I took those stories as past days long gone.

I walked into the toilet at the bus station n stood frozen at the spot staring as 2 ladies covered by walls to their hips just getting up from a piss. They took little notice of me as i tried to conceal my horror n regain my composure(unfortunately my mouth stood wide open throughout my recovery progress) and the first thing that crossed my mind was OMG I HAVE TO GET A PIC OF THIS!!. Yes i'm weird. But no, i have lamer pics...those of road kills n dead rats on the road (which required a hell load of mental strength to to stop me from posting those up as well).

As the two women walked out i was left alone n i wandered along the low cubicles. Afraid someone else might walk in, i desperately ransack my bag for my camera...i hear ppl entering the toilet...in hope of masking my evil plot, i feint an act of going into one of the cubicles n continue to set up my camera, still pretending as if im looking for tissue. They leave..GOOD!...*click*Click*...DONE!!! .....erm..now...how the hell to i do this. Being unable to ignore natures call, i decide to make it quick before anyone walks in...still felt it was weird ppl could see ur head popping out of the cubicle.

I walked out laughing like a moron and my two bosses n K wonder whats up with me. I didnt have the heart to explain so i showed them the pics. They didnt laugh at the pics but at me for being silly enough to take pics in the toilet. BLEHZ!~

View of cubicles

What u were supposed to do ur business in is basically this drainage system. There is no individual flushing, so if u see one with big business u just walk to another one in hopes it would be unused n clean...as clean as piss job is possible anyways. The cleaners come in once in a while n gushes one end of the toilet with loads of water n it flushes everything in the drains to the other side of the toilet into the sewerage.

Every morning i would have to pass over the Huang He river n it nvr ceases to amaze me how black n 'dense' the water is. If u have read Terry Pratchetts discword series u would have come across his description of Ankh-Morpok river. That may be the exact description i would have given should i ever feel like finding something close enough to describe it.

*Back dated first trip to china

2006-12-09T21:54:00.001+08:00

I've wanted to blab about my first trip as it was really amusing. when we first arrived at HK airport we found our booked van had gotten the dates wrongly n we didnt have transport to Humen. Took ages to find an alternate way but we reached the hotel anyway..bout nearly 2 am. woke next morning looking forward to breakfast (im the kind that would die without breakfast...or any main meals for that matter) only to find that the time for breakfast had be shortened by half hour. It used to be 11.30am but its 11am now....T_T no free breakfast.

We had breakfast at HoHo, M's mee tasted like cockroach (he is jinxed with mee's in china as this happened 2 other times at different places). lucky for me my sandwich was fine. I learnt my way around china quite fast n even drew a rough map of the places we went on the first day.

One thing i really like about china is how big the portions of food are and also how they always give u stalks of vegetables to go with the meal with real boiled sup with meat stock. Unlike KL, a plate of chicken rice would only provide u with few slices of cucumbers n sup filled with MSG. There was one day when i was nearly dying of hunger, as M doesnt know the meaning of scheduled eating time, that we stumbled upon this shop with nyummy porkchop rice!~

My porkchop friedrice in sweet sour sauce..i already ate 1/3 of the meat though =x

M's porkchop with friedrice in black pepper sauce.(copycat learnt to order what i order to be safe as it seems mine always taste better muahaha)

The roadside store we squatted at to have lunch XD

My mee n side dishes (nearly finished liao) n M's cup of sup noodle.

Wedding bells

2006-12-09T20:43:00.001+08:00

Been so bz lately, one reason being my bro got married today.
Only the registration n traditional tea ceremony as the wedding dinner is in April. Nonetheless me n mum went all out to make it a special occasion. I did the deco for his car, the house main door n also his room door.
Didnt have time to do the red paper cutting of double happiness for him.
This is the front of my bro's car that i made.

Close up

Back of the car.

Door decos.

..and God said BE..and the world came into being.

2006-12-07T12:59:00.002+08:00

..'What! You seriously wanna sqat here n eat?' asked my boss wide eyed.

'Erm..yeah. Try lah, looks interesting mah', I replyed.

He gave me a look that basically summed it up as i-am-so-gonna-get-a-stomach-ache but nonetheless he trailed along as I lead the way to the corner shop by the road side. I enjoyed my mixed noodle with other side dishes and a bubble tea
while he sat gloomily dreading the next few hours eating his sup noodle n drinking bottled orange juice ( which he thinks is gonna help as it says vitamin C on the label =.= ).

Traveling on a monthly basis to china,
I have had my share of lil encounters in 'Big 6'.
Posting them up out of amusement.
(..or sheer boredom if you really must know.)

As a star is born same goes for this solar system of random rants and cheeky pics. I would like to thank Ange nu er soooo much for helping me splice this web up n get it working *hugs*.